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Never Offer Your Comb To A Bald Man
Alexander J. Berardi
As we rise in levels of responsibility in organizational life, we begin to hear the term, "servant leadership." Essentially, it's giving of yourself to support others, rather than leading by dominating others. A number of books have been written on the topic, but this one is different. The title is deceiving; your first thought might be that it's a parody or pick-up on Harvey MacKay's "Never Give a Naked Man Your Shirt."
This book is about knowing yourself so you better understand others to serve them and the world. It's about getting off the merry-go-round of life and making a positive difference in the lives of those around us. Berardi has given us a book that is thought-provoking . . . and heart-provoking.
I found myself turning down so many page corners that I finally gave up. There are nuggets on practically every page. "All things are possible for those who find their own unique way of serving others." "You don't have to be perfect to live a purposeful life as a servant leader." "We have blocked so much from our lives, we find that we're not really living at all." "People don't necessarily know what it is they actually need because they're focused more on what they want."
The first of the four sections of the book explains servant leadership. Then readers gain a wonderful experience in part two, learning how to get themselves ready to truly serve others. Part III is The Practical Side of Identifying and Serving the Needs of Others. The last section of the book describes Miracles in the Making. A reading list and index enhance the value of this volume.
Never Offer Your Comb to a Bald Man is illuminated by stories from the author's life, from the experiences of perspectives of people he has known, and from stories of others who bring life to each of the author's points. Although, this book is hard to put down for enjoyable and thoughtful reading, it can also serve as a text for what a lot of business leaders need to learn. I imagine a number of people who have read this book have slowed down, reoriented their thinking, and gained a whole new perspective and level of productivity in their lives.
Equally avant-garde in his approach, physician Alexander Berardi believes that people who reap the most satisfaction and success from what they do are the most willing to give in exchange for what they get. In Never Offer Your Comb to a Bald Man, Berardi takes exception with guides that advise readers "to follow their bliss." While acknowledging the importance of undertaking an inspiring career, he tells readers to focus on the needs of others, like their customers and employees, to reap exponentially more benefits. Berardi's anecdotal style is easy to read, [and his] ideas are provocative.
Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
NEVER OFFER YOUR COMB TO A BALD MAN
How to Get What You Want By Giving Others What They Need
by ALEXANDER J. BERARDI
This book might have been called "Leadership through the Back Door," for it emphasizes preparation for and perspective toward leadership rather than presenting a treatise on performing as a leader in a given situation.
Berardi claims, "The greatest leaders of all time are the reluctant ones — those who see their role as one of service — and as an unavoidable consequence of that service were forced to assume the position of leader." A servant vision or servant mission "is a compelling drive to champion a particular cause."
Berardi describes a "Servant Leader" as one who leads by fulfilling his or her vision. He often repeats the idea that "in order to really prosper we have to give something back." He quotes Viktor Frankl and others as he reminds the reader that it’s easy to lose sight of the sense of meaning in our lives if we only concentrate on our own struggle and existence.
"There’s Gotta Be a Better Way," the first part of the book, identifies the problems most of us face as we seek our goals, and suggests that too much focus is put on the goal instead of the process. "Focus on the passion, not the outcome," he says, much like Neale Donald Walsch in Conversations with God.
But the presence of passion is not enough; preparation is essential. In part two, "Preparing Yourself to Serve," Berardi describes how to put your life in balance so that you can serve effectively when the vision comes. The prerequisites for leadership are healthy and balanced physical, mental, financial, and spiritual components of life. In setting one’s life up for service and leadership, Berardi argues eloquently for the necessity to embrace change.
"Change is the hardest thing for a person to do ... because our sense of meaning is rooted in inappropriate beliefs and the choices we have made. ... We must never link our entire sense of meaning to static things and ideals. We must attach the purpose of our life to a vision that is ... adaptable to the changing universe. ... We often need to leave what is comfortable and familiar to discover what is our true destiny."
The reward Berardi promises: "When we engage ourselves in the act of serving others, we experience a level of personal fulfillment unattainable by any other method."
Part three, "The Practical Side of Identifying and Serving the Needs of Others," discusses uncovering what people need, not what they want. This skill is practiced by maintaining an open mind, by asking questions, and by observing.
Berardi comments on our reluctance to ask questions, and describes the benefits of asking them anyway: learning what actual needs exist, probing through scams, and earning the respect of others who appreciate that you’re trying to learn about them.
Through disciplined observation, we may discover the real needs that lie hidden below the surface, says Berardi. Dare to look past the obvious, he counsels, "for it is there that you might catch a glimpse of how you can serve the unmet needs of others. ... Use your own experiences, trials, and pain to breathe purpose into your vision."
In part four, "Miracles in the Making," Berardi describes the characteristics of a life spent pursuing the servant vision: the vision seems to appear from nowhere, it leads you away from a familiar life path, it rarely has a formal plan, and it often engenders criticism.
Through all the preparation, work, and pitfalls, Berardi counsels, "Servant leaders need to learn to live, not as a raging river, tumbling over the jagged rocks of life, but as a peaceful stream, carrying in their current the life-enhancing gifts of humor and encouragement to all they touch."
Margaret Doyle, Reviewer
CNN Money
“The common sense inherent in the title of this book exemplifies the author’s commonsense approach to the question of how to create a successful life- meaning a life rich in the fulfillment of one’s deepest personal needs. From observing the success of others, Berardi came to the conclusion that the most successful people choose their work because they love it and because it’s a service that is beneficial to others. It is this concept that is behind the idea of “servant leadership,” a term he uses frequently in the book to describe the character of the genuinely successful person, and his goal is not only to aid in the discovery and definition of one’s individual yearnings, but also to make apparent the ways in which they relate to creating constructive service. Chapter titles like “What Do You Want Out of Life?,” “You Can’t Sell From an Empty Cart,” and “If Love Is Blind, Why Is Lingerie So Popular?” are indicative to the humor and practicality he employs in outlining the steps to achieving success. Clear, inspiring, and entertaining, the book transcends the boundaries of most success/motivation books through its focus on the rewards of passionate commitment to service.”
Jane Alden
NAPRA ReView
www.napra.com
“Just finished reading your latest book and enjoyed it very much. It rates with the best- Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale, Og Mandino.”
Mel Manishen
Empire Sheet Metal Mfg. Co. Ltd.
www.empire-machinery.com
“You (Berardi) are passionate, articulate and enlightening. Never Offer Your Comb To A Bald Man is not only an excellent marketing book for the 21 st century, but you describe individual success and survival techniques. I enjoyed both the book and the interview. Your sense of humor both personally and in your writing turns a good idea into an entertaining concept anyone can (& should) grasp. By reading and implementing what you’ve written, business would be more productive and far less stressful. People talk about “working smarter”, you show how it’s done.
Thanks for an entertaining, informative program.
Erskine Overnight
Syndicated Talk Show Host
www.erskineovernight.net
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”I found your book thought provoking and insightful, and it has caused me to reevaluate my approach to daily life, both personally and professionally. Thanks for the insight.”
Dr. Wayne Goldschneider—Doctor of Optometry, New Jersey USA
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“I have read your book and wanted you to know I loved it! The information was very informative and helpful. I have recommended it to many other people. Thank you for persevering.”
Brandan Gravitt
The Brides Assistant
Lexington, KY USA
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“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your wonderful book confirms I’m on the right track, and has given me additional tools to insure I’m on my way to becoming the best I can be.”
Lencola Sullivan—Actress and Singer , Netherlands
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“Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to appear on our show. Your insightful words of wisdom were a comfort to me personally and judging from the outpouring of calls, to your audience as well. In these trying times [the show aired live just days after the attacks of September 11, 2001] it is even more important to be able to focus on one’s goals and understand what is truly important in life. Leaders everywhere need to read your timely book.”
Peter Anthony Holder—Host, CJAD 800 AM, Montréal, Québec
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“Insightful and powerfully practical. I’ll no doubt be quoting from it.”
Professor Mary Sue Polleys—Chairperson Servant Leadership Program,
Columbus State University
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“Your ‘servant leader’ concept is brilliant. It’s one of the best explanations of success I’ve ever read, maybe the best.”
Ken McCarthy—“Internet Marketing Guru” and Creator of System Seminar
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“I have always had this nagging thought that my life should be somehow be different from the normal routine…that there’s more to life than keeping a roof over my head. Now, thanks to you, I know what I need to do to transform my life and exactly how to go about it.”
Sheila Anderson –Eli Lilly Corporation, Indianapolis, IN
“Finally! A simple, concise, effective plan for inspiring, persuading and motivating others. It will enable managers on all levels to effectively lead others by strengthening them, bringing out their personal best, and helping them to overcome adversity in every situation. ”
Michael P. O’Boyle—Chief Financial Officer, The Cleveland Clinic
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“I just advised my entire management team to read the Japanese translation of your book ‘Never Offer Your Comb to a Bald Man’. We have begun applying your ‘servant leadership’ principles to our new product development with great success. We sincerely hope and believe your ‘servant leadership’ concept will be applied by people worldwide to enrich our lifetime”
Mr. Masuo Nagao, Managing Director
Car Mate Mfg. Co., LTD Tokyo
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“Just finished your book. What a wonderfully uplifting, pleasant and REAL experience. I’m getting copies for my two key managers!”
Lucille Richards
Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey
Red Bank, New Jersey
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“Thank you for sharing your experiences and such great thoughts and viewpoints.”
Karen L. Johnson
Manager, Budget Operations
Visiting Nurse Association of Central Jersey
Red Bank, New Jersey
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“Brilliant! If you desire success, you should read this book over and over.”
Lair Ribeiro, MD
Best-selling Author, ‘Success is No Accident’
Sao Paulo, Brazil
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“The most powerful success model I have ever seen... It’s transforming my business and my life.”
Jae Min Kim, OMD
Physician-Owner, IL SUNG Pharmacy
Pusan, Korea
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